good stuff, nice flow, pretty cool multies....getting better with assonance and what not....uhh, mainly, one criticism is, try to not stray from topic, like this was good, but then you mention stuff like david blaine, you know, that kinda is off topic it seems, i'm sure you can find a more literal comparison, but thats not really a big deal, you're getting better, keep writing, i liked this piece, good idea, good tone,

somethin's cuttin my breath attackin it like a disease
the door slams shut on my left im prayin God please
stop these demons in my mind cuz they fiendin all the time
seemin like a crime im on the line...................................
.............................about to fall into infinite space and time

that was the best part, well done skip

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