First off ur lines are way too long, i had a hard time reading it. Since the lines are too long that means ur flow is off, so the things u trying to tell are gonna come off very choppy. In this nothing really stood out for me. You do have some nice rhymes in this, but i think if u worked on ur structure, then it would come out a lot better. The vocab u used in this was aight, really nothing special tho. But thats all i got to say man, keep working at it tho. Peace.