this wasn't really long at all, idiot

oh yeah, it wasn't bad, kinda dry, but overall it was cool...your wording could be ALOT improved to capture the reader more, like, use descriptive words of an interesting nature...like, your story is cool, thats the main reason i read it all, lol, to be honest....but yeah, you just neeed to improve on wording and storytellin....some lines were pretty gay, like that breeded line, heh

from the day ur born, to the day u die.
u see ur life is full of choice and that u have to fight to survive.

that wasn't bad, keep up

and just to give you a hint, mother fucker, you need to post links you provided feedback on, not links to your other pieces....ASAP, or this is closed

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