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Old 01-27-06, 07:50 AM   #6
Critic
Black Poet
 
Posts: 1,474
From: London
IP:

I liked this fam,... I felt the the verse flowed well as a whole,.. pretty
decent vocab, could of had more emotions... did't really like the concept
but the first verse was nice it kind of fell off a little bit after that..

And what Y said about the syllable count u should look in to that coz it
would make the flow a lot more fluid.

Nice verse fams stay up and keep writing.

1~
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