Thread: Oz. vs. shodown
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Old 01-27-06, 10:57 AM   #8
FlowIntelligent.
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OZ:

I wasnt really feeling your verse, the emotion was weak, no good imagery just blantant rambling in my opinion. I mean there were good aspects but for the most part your verse lacked what it needed to become a good written verse. The vocab was ok but i know you can do better than that. Use more wordplay and try to make ya bars sound good. You worded alot of lines poorly, to the point that it lost its effectiveness.


Overall: 4/10


Shodown:

First off let me say you suprised me a bit here. It wasnt outstanding i wouldnt say your a topical genious. But yes you did win this battle. The most irritating thing about your verse was the 'thy'. This is topical battles on a website, not english lit. Lose the 'thy'. Your vocab probably stood out the most in this battle, but your emotion was on point you got indepth with this topic which can hurt some peoples style but you wrote a decent verse for the topic that didnt drag on.


Overall: 7.5/10


Vote: Shodown
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