In the year 3 B.C., Vin Diesel came upon the first girl who did not want to have sex with him. Her name was Mary, and her game of hard-to-get was new to him. He thought it was sexy, so naturally he raped her. Mary couldn't fight it, but the next morning she made him promise to tell no one. When Vin found out that Mary was pregnant, he was forced to write the book we now know as the Bible to cover it all up.

Lmao.