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Old 02-03-06, 03:16 PM   #11
I Am Unreal.
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I Am Unreal.'s Avatar
 
Posts: 327
From: Ontario
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Voted For: Tech Skillz

Rexless? Shit I'll Slap More Bars On You Than Judges In Court
How You Iller Than Me...When You Lines Shut Down You Callin Tech Support!
-1st line shitty and played, 2nd OK
You Ain't Dope....Everything You Come Close To Drop Is Worthless
Rexless Couldn't Raise The bar.......If He Has Verizon's Spoke Person!
-nice set up for a nice punch
Tryin To Holla At Crews But Nobody Will Take You...You're Too Wack
Your So Old....You Couldn't Hit Your Roots....If Your Hair Grew Back!
-alright punch, consider rewording
All He Do Is Act Like He'll Hit You But Goes Back Like His Avy's Replayed Motion
But He Ain't Inactive.....It's Just Everyone Told Him To Stop Posting!
-meh, alright closer

overall there was some decent similies in here, punches were abit above average, nothing too special though, wordplay needed work, flow was pretty decent, try and throw in some more personals...

Im a beast in text-cee, tech skillz is lame n no other
My game-boy is advance..you still living with no color
-trying too hard to be complex, simplify
Your only known in a battle site and school, no
"national" push
while the "U.S.C-"me like Reggie Bush
-i didnt get this punch, dunno what a usc is or a reggie bush..
why you lookin’ for talent? you not an agency
this is my house and I don’t stand for vagrancy
-what the fuck is vagrancy?
You's a cheap "Mind Freak", my lines'll "Criss" cross & m"Angel" you
cuz I've determined your whole S(hits) WAC like Grambling & Prairie View
-grambling? whats with the "angel" just put mangle...???!?
and this battle’s gettin’ old, so I’m on my way
with this cat ready to fold like it was laundry day
-only similie you had

overall you need lots of work on punches, similies, personals, flow, wordplay etc. you really need to simplify your verse... it seems like you're trying too hard to think of punches that you get too complex and nobody understands it...just let it come naturally

v/tech for an allaround better verse
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