Voted For: Jay .Reaper.

Get ya SKULL BROKE WIT A TORN NECK, I'LL THROW HOLES IN THIS BOYS CHEST 'Split you in half' and BLOW SMOKE IN YA MOIST BREAST lookin like 'Alley Mcbeal' had her Gynecologist' used a 'GOAL POST' AS HER 'FORCEPS'!!!// heh
hugely stretched, sort out your structure, decent flow but no real hard punches
I'll CUT AND RIP YOU WITH FEELING, Strapped to a chair, hair pulled back so hard ya FUCKIN TISSUE IS PEELING, IV's in ya arm and ya dick, strapped to the roof, SUCK IT BITCH YOU AINT HEALING, jaw open, forced to sit and drown in your own BLOOD AND PISS FROM THE CEILING!//
Probably the most stretched line I have ever seen
DEALING wit a man that'll break ya TEETH AND YA BONES BITCH Hold you by the neck as your FEET AND YOUR TOES TWITCH, then Submerse you in the vomit i puke from READING MY OWN SHIT!// werd
--------------------------------FUCK YOU------------------------------------
Nah
Catch a THICK SWORD, AND A BLADE, show your insides n 'Squeeze The ish dry', BITCH YOUR JUS AFRAID! Don't sweat it, It won't make a difference ya 'SHITS FORCED ANYWAY'!// hahaha
Nah again
HEY, The WEAPONS THAT I SLING. Ring INFECTIONS THAT'LL SWING, across ya chest and in SECONDS IT'LL BRING, This fake to a puppet, as I use your INTESTINES AS THE STRINGS!// Mwuahaha
Puppet was a cool concept, ok bar
I'll put a SWITCHBLADE IN YA WAIST FAST!, and leave ya SHIT SPRAYED IN MY WAKE, ASS, Drop ya on your 'head so hard' you could use ya 'RIBCAGE' AS YA 'FACE MASK'!// (Facemask)
Meh

Sort your structure out, your verse was so hard to read.

U aint got shit..u have no IQ he Couldnt get his name right on a test
Cuz moneys a Vote pacer.....Who Does trades like an Artest Request
Eh?
My heat an ur gurl are similar...they both give shots to the Dome
this fag got G-unit in his ass........cuz he states he's yayo's home
No
He's gonna get hits to the Chest like a human Bong
his Gurl like Tv's...Even 3 year olds can turn her on
Ok
So ima be like a plastic Surgeon an snatch yah faces
Cuz the metals gonna warm yah mouth...like heatin Braces
Creative
it would be shady to See this slim kid in public wit kim
Cuz when hes Gone............no-ones gonna be like Y.M
Not bad
I'm Ur fuckin father...so stop rappin...ima have to beat my son
skills like banks wit currency age limits....the way his money to young
Nah
So SHootin aint Ur SHit Besides Watchin THe Star's
like Homers Spot In-flamed..I'm Burin Down mo's Bar's
lol
Ima carpenter this bitch...nail him wit the hammer
Cuz his moms like screen doors...anyone can slam her
Cool
He's gettin Slammed.....i'm dunkin him in a basket
Cuz The closet u'll come to spittin death...is Rhymin..in ur casket
No

You had some nice ideas in there mixed with some whack ones, screen doors bar was nice and you had some other decent concepts. Just work on consistency as you have a lotta potential.

v/ Phil