damn, not bad. this would be a perfect example of a poem at it's top best. your imagery is very complex, it kept me thinkin a lot. the storyline was pretty good but i didn't quite understand what you meant with the chinese shit. it seemed to have no fit with your story lol, unless you can explain me wrong. the rhymes coulda been upped so you would rhymed more but it still is good, the flow is good and it sounds very abstract.

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