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Old 02-11-06, 10:35 AM   #4
-Substance-
Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
 
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Posts: 2,180
From: Long Beach, CA
IP:

this piece was ok.......i like the first verse and one mic, you should have used soem multies and maybe some imagery.....try make your reader feel what you saying. Nice job tho......i like how the first person whent into the chorus.......rtf withering hope OM
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