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Old 02-13-06, 02:22 PM   #1
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
IP:

Oz.: one of the better pieces I've read written by you in this league. You had some good mechanicals down such as the overall flow, vocabulary, emotion and imagery. You could pick up the pace in most of these areas but you have the basics down and you can move on from there. The storyline progressed nicely, I like the twist (sort of) you put in the ending. Good contents for sure. Solid piece

I Am Unreal.: I definitely like your style of writing, it has a sort of poetic feel to it and I'm a fan of those type of pieces. Like Oz. you had the basics down but I feel you did something more to it. You worked it better and the storyline developed nicely as well, you kept me interested. You had some points where you really grabbed the reader's attention, good job with that. Props

My vote goes to I Am Unreal. for gettin me more into the story
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