Thread: short-story
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Old 02-19-06, 05:30 PM   #3
Willa
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
 
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this is pretty cool slo0w in parts only complaint would be the grammer edit that and itll e pretty good
maybe make that a size up on the font

your major downfall is the fact that you have words in both past and present tense in the same sentence making it sound bad i can help you correct if you'd like?
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