i didn't really like either verse here....i liked ion's direction, the rivarly, thought it was cool.... but to me it didn't really seem like you capitalized on it, there wasn't much material to keep me interested and entertained....but it wasn't bad

A grand sensation was traced at a face that resembled his
And so with a stained plate of jade he slowly assembled it

that was my fav line, it flowed well too, just didn't hit for me beyond the structure of it, might've been cool audio

hmm, crazy, i couldn't really get into yours fully, mainly because some lines seemed outta place with the overall progression of the piece....and it just seems like you tried too hard to make this really intelligent, ehhh, too much vocab can often take away appeal and effectiveness of the message you want to get across.....nothing against you if you talk like this on a normal day to day basis, but overall, this was interesting and was enough to get the win, good job

then despite all the warnings, I'd run then return to take advantage,
planting the seeds of deceit that thrive on the needs of the planet..

fav line...keep up to both

v/crazy

__________________