"waiting for his chance to slain" this is worded extremely ocwardly... I get what you're trying to say... but the word slain is just used wrong... you need it in a different tense... anyway aside from that this was aight... You mentioned yaself via "I" a lil too much... if the subject character hasn't changed and it does nothing for you lyrically there is no reason to constantly reintroduce the subject character... the readers already know who you're talking about untill change the subject character to someone, or thing else...

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