to be completely honest, i'm not diggin this a whole lot..i'm not into structured poetry really though....because you can't say shit, there are rules..and you can't put rules on emotions...but i also felt that a lot of the metaphorical value wasn't really relevant to the topic you stated, and if it was relevant...it was a little mislead...like what does mother nature have to do with the victim of a bully? absolutely nothing...and by saying your soul can't keep up with time....is like saying that you can't adjust to how things are changing, when the reality is, bullys havn't changed..they've always been around....and to be COMPLETELY honest, i don't know why any victim of any kind of harassment would want to go back intime and relive it, the only reason i would want to go back in time, is to avoid something tragic(if i did want to go back, but i wouldn't) but you cannot avoid bullies.....asside from that..the opener and closer were decent...but again..i stress the limits of structured poetry..because there were a lot of words in there you put, that took away from the emotion, the raw power of the poem, of the feeling your trying to stress, your rhyme metrics were good and all, but whoever decided thats what poetry should be about..was either a genius..and needed to find a way to make expressing himself more difficult...or he was just a complete idiot...and i have yet to see any structured poetry that impresses me, so i'm going to take the latter of the two options....this wasn't bad at all..don't get me wrong...i just don't appreciate this style of poetry near as much...stay up though..keep writing...return the favor if you get the chance

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=223367

2 fingers
1 love

__________________

Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.

"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox

The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew