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Flyweight
From: Chicago-U Already Know |
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IP:
Droppin Feed:
I Really enjoyed this Piece, the dialouge was very very nice, this would be a very *HOT* audio piece, i think u should go 4 it....
They only thing i hated, was some of our bars rhymed but it didnt catch...ya know....like for instance:
"let me roll up my sleaves, lets do this with ease.
ill make u believe that u have awoke from a disease."
Ease= 1 Syllable
Disease=2 Syllable
"but i saw as u grew. u no longer believed in me.
i had to give u clues. but u still just disaggred."
Me=1 Syllable
dissagreed=3 syllable...
So when u read it , its kinda off.....I make that mistake a lot when i flow, so i kknow it when i see it..
and just in the beginning, where u imputed the "setting" aka...what itz bout...i think u shoulda did it at the end
like 8:42am
Wakes up in bed...blah blah blah.... like that
but newayz, take into consideration into making this an *audio*....with the right beats, and tone, this would be *hot*
Yup!
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