my tryout

one of my first topicals



A sense of anxiousness in every breath dreary visions as I watch my footsteps.

I’m possessed pausing in stance staring at her house address.

Knocking on her door patiently waiting for a answer.

She opened up to find out shes a belly dancer.

Now walking beside me is a beautiful girl askin questions.

Im lost for words with no expressions and embarrassing impressions.

my hearts racing fast feels like a formula 1 race pulling tons.

She winks at me and laughs and her smiles as good as the sun.

Finally we enter the restraunt obliged tried telling jokes an I almost cried.

Couldn’t make up my mind to be embarrassed or to run and hide.

No appetite and I havn’t ate a single meal in hours.

Reached in my jacket to pull out a bouquet of flowers.

Something in me seemed to seize

I blink a couple times and I can finally see

Now that im talking I feel I cant quit never leavin I wont make it

Walkin lonely now and I cant face the truth to brace it.

Goin home no one to love on or hug

an even no one for me to give back rubs.

Only to wake up and see shes lying beside

Now living our lifes one day at a time.

one vs ysdat

A dark narrow path thats never traveled.
pitch black with nothing to hear to save you hastle.
a road you take with feelings of not seein another day.
And a place you can go to meet people without a name.
so silent that every footstep can break the sound barrier.
tense and aware I can smell my own fear in the air.

*Falls asleep*

*Wakes up*

as daylight arrives my heart beats recklessly.
With no way to explain the expressions inside of me.
My world's crumbling in nightmares that are disgusting.
This path is a curse & could put anyone in a black herse.
I've been through some shit but this is by far my worst.
My pain aches and my lifes at a cautious steak.
can somebody be my brace when tears rush down my face?
Why can't everything be as it was??? instead of tears im sheadin blood.

*A week passes*

its been 6 days since I left that living nightmare.
And I still cant see myself in the mirror.
disfigure distinct corruption reserved for withdraw of terror.
Such a dense memory to remember it feels like im bein choked.
Insane illusions remain to appear I open my eyes and revoked.

christmas poem

It's my eighth year of christmas and no point to it if santa doesn't exist.
My heart felt a sudden weakness and started to decay in painful sequence.
Its like my presents can no longer stimulate my heart race.
All this stress at a young age can devastate a man in a obsticle of dismay.
But all this confusion gots me thinkin that my own parents could be illusions.
Its such a harsh world when you find out that it's santa's conclusion.
As I open my gifts I examine the wrap paper in question and theres no explanation.
No one may never know santa's interval and/or his real discriptions.
How did someone come up with this design to fascinate curious children with lies.
Or Are parent's lieing and Santa used to be Real and he just died.
I left cookies out for you to eat and a note out for you to read.
Before I found this out when I woke up I rushed to the tree to sneak a peak.
I wonder If every kid would do the same thing I am without your presence.
Every christmas eve I would dream about how the north pole was heaven.
But Oh well I'll still be here without you so pure and alive.
To tell your story to millions of children world wide named "Santa's Demise"

and my poem thats in a book and could win me 10,000$

Dark in sides from a weakean mind designs fraction.
Vision is deadly so blurry its got ya dizzy reasonably Fantasy's only a theory.
Only imagine if this never happened our passion together forever sound muffles and no ones laughing.
Fade to black irratate its "Flat" radiate the anxiety and still you refuse what Fond beauty you mean to me.
Now I understand what prophesy you aprehend pretend to be a homie Naw your just a throw away friend.
Relinquish significance and slowly watch it from development till wat remains is a death certificate,a grave, and a skelaton.