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Old 03-09-06, 06:45 PM   #7
In-Vision
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Posts: 2,011
From: memphis
IP:

this was okay.some of your lines sorta stood out..most of them didn't...not to mention claiming everyones racist is a joke...most people are racist in some way..but not all...some of your analogies were pretty weak...and to be completely honest....you wrote 5 different pices...to say one thing....the history lessons were not needed..even if people didn't know about racism back than..there not gonna say" your a liar" when you tell them it existed............you could have really shortened this up and made it into an enjoyable read...but when it's that long you need to have elements of story..and since it's not a story..that can't work....stay up though
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