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Old 03-15-06, 06:42 PM   #8
In-Vision
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From: memphis
IP:

i actually liked this a lot here, the metaphorical fashion was genius...and possibly as relevant as it can possibly be, the concept overall was beautiful..however....about half of your imagery wasn't very great, and thats because your adjectives didn't seem to be very strong connecting with the topic...also, the rhyme scheme was a little elementary....and you might have done that on purpose..but i personally like to see a more complex rhyme scheme..this was good however....i'd give it a 8/10....great work
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