I really liked this man. The structure is pretty everywhere though, even for my standards and I don't structure things in a typical manner. The flow is fine, but maybe chop stuff up so that the lines are alteast the same length you know? But the Imagery and just originality of the entire piece was nothing short of amasing. The entire piece had a very poetic vibe through out, which, being a poetry writer I absolutely loooooooooooooved. Emotion was also very strong here, never once did I feel you became fake or began to wade away from the authenticity of your emotion. Overall like I siad, really great piece... I'd just really like to see you clean up that structure so that it's not so daunting to the eye.