Eeeeeeh, didn't really like this piece. To me it just felt like a vent poem when it really should have given off such a stronger vibe than just that giving the concept you chose. I LOVED the concept, nice and original, racially provocative kind of like the poem I just posted awhile ago. But I dont know, the emotion just seemed false to me like your heart wasn't really in it, and the imagery wasn't all that strong and sometimes didn't even work really:

'my heart thats black as night and black as my nigga,
and my nigga is a star, as bright as the sun...'

I know what you're getting at and what you were trying to achieve with those lines but by including "black" as an adjetive you contradictid the meanings in your lines which compramised the impact of the statement in itself. To me this piece felt more like a strive for something new and thought provoking so much so that the ever important characteristic of athenticity was lost in its creation. Sorry man, just wasn't at the same level as I've grown to expect from you.