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Originally Posted by BlAzInHoT
1 bar? thats it? you gotta rite a little more than dat shit to get some feedbak cuz i cant really give u any cept you gotta work on keeping your lines the same size
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^^^yepper, pretty much what he said.
in all honesty.....the bar is nice though. it shows that you got some writing potential. i liked your use of vocab and your multies were smooth. the only real pointer that i can shoot you off hand is that you need to work on your structure some. besides that, you did it. word. keep up the good work pimpin'.
s.v., c.s.