ok.. da beat starts off alright i kinda like that hard thumpin base wit da orchestra... turn vocals up a bit or come with more emotion ... good flow but your lacking delivery sounds like your reading....thats usually not a good thing.... like i love that hook it could be really good..i would have just put so much more emotion into it make it stand out more you gotta be LOCK AND LOAD... loud on that shit... song had a bad ass concept i just dont think that you spent enough time on it.... if you woulda went through your verse a couple times and fixed up where you were off beat and worked on the delivery it could be a dope ass track...9/10 for the concept 7/10 on actual song... RTF
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=226055