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Light Weight
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IP:
Man, fuck. When I first started reading I went "Ohhh...this is gonna be shit." But then I really got into it. Normally I'm not a fan of pieces that lean towards the gangster-mo but you spun it real well with outstanding emotion and imagery. Your metaphors were well pieced and you did a good job of keeping the flow despite a few compromises in your vocab. Keeping the vocab smaller was good wordplay on your part however because it made the verse flow easier and therefore more emotion was felt. Very well written piece. Excellent job. Fav. Lines:
-i know niggas'll feel me cause im speaking the truth
i take the thoughts of the old and use the voice of the youth
-try and deny, but willie's got a rap on ya brain
they never freed us, they only put some slack on the chain
-(pause) i keep the name in the back of my mind
its funny how a white person created black on black crime
Stay Classy.
__________________
Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face?
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