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Old 04-14-06, 04:18 PM   #5
In-Vision
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From: memphis
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this was either extremely clever..or sell outish....


because i got to 2n to last stanza..and i was like..."this can't possibly be finished within one more stanza...he needs another 10 stanzas....but in the last sentence..you showed that..that's the point...the great part about this is..it works.....because...if you finish it....well....we all know what


your story telling was good, i got a good grasp of what was happening...and that's always good..however..your imagery was pretty vague....and emotionally..i didn't sense anything behind...so for what it had in concept, and idea, you lack in imagery and emotion

now...i don'[t think that's necessarily important in this piece..but it would have helped

over all..pretty good drop....thanks for the read
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