Out-Spoken
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IP:
this was either extremely clever..or sell outish....
because i got to 2n to last stanza..and i was like..."this can't possibly be finished within one more stanza...he needs another 10 stanzas....but in the last sentence..you showed that..that's the point...the great part about this is..it works.....because...if you finish it....well....we all know what
your story telling was good, i got a good grasp of what was happening...and that's always good..however..your imagery was pretty vague....and emotionally..i didn't sense anything behind...so for what it had in concept, and idea, you lack in imagery and emotion
now...i don'[t think that's necessarily important in this piece..but it would have helped
over all..pretty good drop....thanks for the read
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Seek & Destroy
We have fun in my basement
Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate.
"watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox
The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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