1) Caught your girl in bed with your father (owned)
kill him

2) You found out your religion was a complete lie
really dont give a fuck

3) You bumped into a friend of yours and got an erection, hense figuring out you're gay.
kill myself

4) You woke up and found out everything you've ever "lived" was a dream
wright a book about it and get rich

5) You had a night on the town with me.
have super man sex with you