Pro: Your structure. Syllable count didn't fuck you up in any places. Nice.
Con: Annoying use of the word "thy" and capitalized words. It would be alright if you used 'thy' in a piece that was more poetic, but I'm not feeling it for topicals. And normally, i only use capitalized words when i want to express emotion and I wasn't really feeling it.
Pro: Vocab was decent. Using bigger words to rhyme can only help you improve and make you a better writer which you did in some places with "innocence and rememberence". Be careful not to use words that nobody understands though, 'cause it can really hurt your imagery. Good.
Con: Long lines with little or no internals. This hurts your flow and takes away from the overall read of the piece. Work on it..
Pro: Pretty good story telling abilities, always an interest but just look to add internals and keep the read up. Also, you're in Spilled Inc. now.
