ok, this wasnt that bad. but i think u could have done a lil better with the wording. anyways, u can throw a lot more multies in there to improve flow and structure and shit.
it was a lil plain with no internal rhyming, but it was still ok... if u could put some multies in there and internal rhyming this would be a lot better piece.
good looking out chick. word up, keep it flowing.

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