this piece felt really confused. at first i thought you was gonna rhyme about your childhood love for your pet dog but then i saw the line about you "licking your dog like a yo-yo" and i thought to myself what the fuck is this. you need to think of a more sensible and mature topic to base your writing on, that is where you could start. the you need to work on your rhyme schemes. and think of more sensible vocab because it seemed like a lot of the things you were saying were just being said because they rhymed, no matter how stupid it looks on your part.

elevate your topics and vocab and think before you write to avoid further embarrasment

~peace~