well. first off, i'm glad to read something to where as i can relate and imagine rather than reading how you sport 9's that ain't made as shoes and how you're "so hood". Props. i thought this was a good emotional piece. you had abuse, abandonment, anger, imagery, and some others.

flow - i read it aloud, spit it perfect.
multies - scarce, didn't see too many
metaphors/similes - a few basic ones, but you still had'em
rhyme sheme - very basic

overall - this was good because you spit from an experience in which it's hard to cope/deal with without the right support and it was original. definitely gonna keep an eye for more...

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