she became an addiction of mine the first time we met
every morning I’d lay a kiss upon her tiny neck
right next to a shiny necklace; a symbol of our first date
the day I found my soul mate which is greater than my birthday
when I heard her say that I was more than a partner in crime
thought we didn’t have a heart then I caught her harboring mine
there was this fire in her eyes that warmed me up inside
just like when I start fires but that never was this fine
so if love is blind I rather not see ever again
and she’s my guide-dog that will remain forever a friend
until whatever’s the end for us.. we’re both arsonists
that’ll burn a house and shit then go in the yard and kiss
or so I thought.. cause its hard to quit, but one day the day came
that she wanted us to change & no longer live the same way
I said “hey, wait.. a guy once hired us both to burn a place
that’s how we first met & now from that you want to turn away?”

“yes”, she replied .. while at me she sighed, twitching her huge dreamy eyes
I didn’t get her point and she just couldn’t bear to see me try
so she told me after approaching me boldly that we only
could stay together if I would allow her to change me wholly
mainly no more burning stuff, which meant turning tough & learning rough
that love can be the greatest thing or something you can’t yearn enough
I didn’t speak a word, or reach the verge in which I’d beat the urge
to remain the same.. if only I knew what’d suddenly emerge

she decided to leave me, walked away with her head to the ground
with mixed emotions, face went from anger then next to a frown
“I’m sorry” she screams as if she was facing her lover
clothes soaked with tons of tears.. her dark mood changing their color
she rips her necklace off, it keeps reminding her of me
feeling pain while doing so.. deep inside in her tummy
her feet are tired and hurt almost as much as her heart does
but stopping now for her would be as hard as to depart was
she just barely opens the door when she reaches her doorstep
then calls my name out loud without even touching the floor yet
she sits on the floor, sweats.. A minute passes, she feels empty
and bangs her head against the wall while remembering she left me
she has a panic attack.. then somehow manages to fall asleep
with her eyes open, left in a coma that’ll take up all the week

a mixture of snow and ice froze the hat that my hair is in
her words were cold, made the weather feel hot in comparison
my hands shaking, knees numb.. while I just stand here with my jaw down
never shocked before.. but I was finally left in awe now
I cant believe she broke my heart, left me alone in the dark
with no one to hold and every part of me falling apart
“I cant take it anymore” I yell loud enough to wake the dead
as I punch myself in the chest repeatedly and shake my head
no more arsonists!!, I’ll agree to retiring our lives
replace my fire addiction with the fire in her eyes
I rush home to tell her as the wind makes my vision blurrier
hoping that she can forgive me for not saying it earlier
I open the door, she’s right on the floor near the entrance
her head against the wall.. she’s shocked & cant speak a sentence
I sit near her and look in her eyes for a few minutes
something’s wrong and suddenly I just cant go through with it
I wont tell her that I’ll change for her, not with her eyes like that
she no longer has fire in them.. I question why I’m back
if only her eyes looked the same way as when I seen them last
thinking about the fire they once had.. I start leaning back
just to pick up a flame thrower that’s lying on the table
I grab it.. with just one goal in my mind while I’m unstable
I aim it at her eyes to put the fire back inside them
I shoot her with it then take a look.. I don’t recognize them
or any other feature on her face, I had melted it
so I acted in the only way I could have dealt with this
I came here to choose real fire or the fire in her eyes
and let the one I pick decide whether the other lives or dies
my decision wasn’t clear but one was dead already
if she’s still alive then the thoughts in my head are deadly
with not one reason left for me not to be an arsonist
I burnt her house with her in it & put all my heart in it
now I’m thinking about the way that I would feel with her by
but maybe I never loved her.. just the fire in her eyes

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