Jesus Christ.
this shizzzzzzz was dope.
skyll = dope. it's obviously something BOTH you and i know.
let me show you people what feed is.
Quotes.
Quote:
I know now my feelings are getting harder to hide
It tears my heart up inside
I need protection no armor provides
But saying you’re fine without me?
That’s like saying the waves ain’t part of the tide
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these opening lines were hot, i was drawn in. that wave/tide concept was ill, period.
Quote:
Emotion takes over, from the picture my mind drops
I wish I could rewind clocks
Make time stop
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simple, but still made me smirk
Quote:
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We’re not perfect, but we fit so perfectly
|
dope meta.
Quote:
To me, this feeling in my gut is new
All my previous views of love have been cut in two
And now I don’t know what to do
You’re the man of my dreams but my dreams don’t live up to you
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these were hot. the last line made me go "ahhhh". good shit.
as for the hook, PERFECT.
Quote:
I can’t blame her, and I’m sure she’d like to ignore me
But she knows we ended the book with an unfinished story
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very nice
Quote:
You’re the author of my emotions
Your pen keeps steady motion
And I read without my eyes open
Cuz I read with my heart, something she can’t do
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read without ya' eyes open? hot. real hot.
Quote:
And I’ll feel this way until the mountains flatten out
The way I chase you, it feels like a game of cat and mouse
But the world’s a crazy place, we gotta face the facts
One day the mice will turn around and chase the cats
I guess I’ll have to wait until that day comes
Cuz that’ll be a chase I won’t run away from
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mountain line was good. "One day the mice will turn around and chase the cats"<--that line amazed me. the ending was good too.
flow - perfect at times, although some lines would be stretched or end to early.
multis - your opening lines had multis and they were simple and made sense, but i took the bait and i'm glad.
concept - hot.
metas - you know what you're doing. nice.
vocab - nothing to big, but it didn't need to sound "intelligent". vocab used was best suited for this concept.
structure - great, lines were the perfect length.
overall - 9/10
keep droppin.
-A. Skyll.
also. just because this is my fiance`, does NOT mean i'm going to be ALL over her shit and gassing her. trust me, i've told her when something wasn't good. this was a dope drop though. i give credit where it's due. s'all i've ever done.
__________________
..::You couldn't touch my SkyLL if i wrote lines on my palm and placed my hand on you::..
Battle Wreckord
33-2
.:::~*!*~Line Of Tha Century~*!*~:::...
^-=!~I was checkin' my *reflection*, i'm just as *dope* as *coke on mirrorz*~!=-^