well... i can see you're just now starting to write poetic pieces..


ok, you did great, but the only problem with your piece was, you have to make the structure better, more poetic, and express your feelings as much as you can. You have to tell us what you did to make her cry, or leave you. We dont know what you did, but what ever you did, it was pretty damn bad. See, if you would have had what you did, how old you were, explain yourself, her, and you just have to give us the outlook on the setting. It was an alright piece, just keep writting. pz..

check my piece, "The Blade that Wouldn't Cut"..