This was decent, i've read better from you, I don't know, I felt this lacked the comlexity, and it just wasn't presented as well as it could have been, vocabulary, metaphors, and just the basic writing style, wasn't all it could have been. I feel like this piece coulda been a lot better, it seemed like one of those quick spontanious things that you just jotted down fast. I'm not saying it isn't good though, it's good work, but i'd like to see you improve on it. I don't really know, I just felt this poem lacked a lot of impact and didn't really get me thinking or draw me in, the message wasn't delivered as well as it could be.

But you're sexy Valor, and so is your writing, keep on shittin' on 'em home slice.

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