I've had some pretty awful days and have come home absolutely dying for a spliff to lift me up again. Without question the worst time of my life was when my mum was in a mental hopistal in and out for 2 years, that was absolutely awful. I am more grateful to the Lord than you could understand that she's coping with her illness (Bi Polar).

I also had some days last year where I was completely depressed because I got with this girl who lives 2 hours away who I never see and I shared the most beutiful moment with her... one of the best moments of my life, best most meaningful kiss ever. But then I was left feeling so deprived and depressed and missed her soooooooooo bad. She's one of the most stunning and outgoing people you could ever meet. I still miss her loads actually, and I'm gonna go and see her in just over a months time.

There was this week not so long ago where eveything just went almost completely wrong in every way. I had fallen out with this girl who's one of my best friends and who I sort of like in a more than friends sort of way, so I didn't have her support. I also had fallen out with most of her friends. I came really close to having 'quiet words' (in my case beating the [censored] out of) with these two lads who play for my football team, they're also 2 of the best players. This caused me to realise I would probably be leaving that club and playing for another club at the end of the season. I really wanted to be house sports captain at school because I'm probably the best all round sportsman in my house, but the house manager (some meathead prick) not only didn't give me sports captain or vice captain, he didn't even give me an interview ignoring my page long application. Not only that but he ignored my prefect application as well on the grounds that I'm 'slightly aggresive.' Over the last few weeks I've showed him what 'slightly aggresive' really is and have started behaving worse in class. I had an awful training session where the manager (no doubt having wind of the fact I was leaving) saw fit to humuliate me by putting me on the team with all the crap players in the match and the other team (who had EVERYONE decent and more) beat us 7-1 or something disgraceful like that. I got back and found that girl who I met last summer who lives 2 hours away kissed some emo bastard at this gig. Boy I could have killed for a spliff right there, but I still didn't get one