Quote:
the weak will embark to hell you see
...there's no killing thee...
soul that prefers to live life free
life at glee, bright eyes for whom can see
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Don't do that shit. See thee free see? Are you trying to talk like Yoda so this will rhyme? Or are you for some reason shooting for an archaic way of speaking (hence 'you see' being the end of the sentence and the use of 'thee').
Quote:
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the soul's crippled by the wrongful minds inside
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Eh? The soul is crippled by wrongful minds inside? There is no mind inside of the soul. This is an ambiguous statement because it can mean one of two things and be confusing, and if you're going for the simple-motivational speech, people looking for inspiration aren't looking for trying to wrap their mind around what something means. But hell, it flows well, I suppose.
Quote:
expand your timeline to another decade
where angels and the butterfly's evade
smiles and laughter, pounds out the evil
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...Why? How would one expand a timeline? Why do angels and (for some reason) butterflies evade smiles and laughter? Since when did angels dislike happiness? Eh? MEH? EDSDGFS? Because in a decade the world would be a bad place to live? But that would mean that angels and butterflies would be attracted to laughter.
Make some sense, foo.
