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Old 06-30-06, 12:02 PM   #22
Feeble Minded
Light Weight
 
Posts: 226
This was feedback posted for OneStepBeyond

IP:

Your opener doesn't make sense unless his name is zack. Nowhere in this thread does it say his name's zack, but w/e I guess it is. Widden is spelled Widen, that fucked up the flow. Other than that, you had some decent punches. tyr to be as creative in all your shit as you were in the pro zack lines.