this is ok.

what i think you need to work on, is write some text peices that arent audio style nahmean?.

pick a nice topic and get into some deep meta's, concepts and general idea's with it.

This would be a ok little street audio, but text is wack when your tryna make it audio, if you get me?
use more meta's, wordplay, and general vocab. Your peice is very simple.

Try drop with more originality bro, cause this reminds me of 100 peices that pass through these forums.

ok drop.
stay dropping.

peace