well m'aam

it is certainly surprising that a woman's perspective can be applied to this subject.

i liked it.

you had tasteful imagery, you brought me to the scene, as in, i could see a video in my head for this.

whenever you bring that out in a reader, you are doing something positive.

i don't agree that the multis were forced, i believe that your concept of this idea is a little basic. maybe if you worked on that, these people wouldn't be such hypocrits.

like i said, you spent time on this and it makes a good point. i suggest you write 2 more verses and post these. i would like to see improvement in multis but a whole song.

good job

keep posting and forget what these people say, i enjoyed it.

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70 page spirals
pens
mind

you wanna get better at this, read.