I agree with the previous two posts, well.. with some of what they said. yea using certain words you used is cool at times but not when you sound like a freaking text book while doing so lol. this was pretty damn boring man, thats just the honest truth, I know alot of newbies on certain sites love a big vocab, but big vocab doesnt = HOT, thats just a fact man, this wasnt good, you sounded like a freaking robot in this and it never had my attention, I almost fell alseep half way through, plus your wording needs some work too and try to shorten ya lines, some of them are stretched.

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