First off, don't put periods at the end of every line just because you're breaking off. Put it there if it truly belong there and that's it. It took me like 5 minutes to understand the first like 3 lines because I didn't realise you just added a period to everything and I was actually supposed to just read on through as one whole line. As for the content, it was up and down for me. Often the content switched tense and direction from narrative to expressive without any real sense of defintion between the two... which tells me it wasnt so much a technique as it was you just wrote this and didn't realise it. It was very simplistic, which can be fine, but I feel like you need to work on your diction a bit so that your lines feel more presicely placed. I liked your final line...

'my emotions are like the day as she covers the night
My soul alway's layed in the dark, she alway's stood in the light'

Although I hate similie's with a passion, I felt like you made this line creative and thought provoking enough for me to be able to get past that. Overall it was ok, alot of spots where things could be tightend up and such but keep at it.