the structure was alittle weird, but none the less i loved the wording u used in this,the vocabulary was above average and the imagery was decent...left a pretty cool visual and shit on what was happening in this piece,the emotion was well okay iguess could of used more i thought,but for being your second attempt at this it wasnt bad my dude, you show alot of poetential in the poetry level of the site, i look forward to you keep trying and elevating rapidly in poetry...overall decent read

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