this is marginally ok.

first off all get rid of the // at the end of each bar, not needed. aswell as the - or ~ to link your multis together.

You have some good attempts at multis in this, but they are very simple at that.
if you upped your vocab it will be alot easier for you to drop some dope multis bro.
Vocab is much needed in this peice, its too simple man. Try starting lines with descriptive words.

Instead of saying:


she~ask why rob em,right turn wrong life all haunted
im hearin voice in my head,follow me,follow you where/
take me as your leader and your wishes will be near/
im wunderin am i goin crazy,or my life playin~a~trick/


try saying :

desperatly she~ask why rob em,right turn wrong life all haunted
antogonisingly im hearin a voice in my head,follow me,follow you where/
instantly take me as your leader and your wishes will be near/
pacing brain wunderin am i goin crazy,or my life playin~a~trick/

see it adds more imagery and a bit more emotion.

This isnt bad, dont get me wrong, just pointing out were you can elevate bro.

Stay dropping.
Peace