first thing. You need a extra link, and remove that link from your sig or you will be banned for outlinking.

This marginaly ok. You have some ok concepts in it, but you didnt execute them the best.
Each line is kinda singular, like they dont really relate to each other through out.

Your bars are reaaly short, you have room to extend them if you feel the need.
Vocab is ok, but you can peice words together a bit better, seems like you have just used the word for the fuck of using it.

Thunder lightning hooks and jabs


you can elebarate a bit more:
sensational Thunder lightning htting solid like hooks and jabs

makes the line a bit more interesting.

Stay dropping and remember to remove the link from your sig and add a extra feedback link to your original post
stay active
peace