It's good to see that some newbs have talent, this was nice started slowly
but it ended well. Nice use of vocab but it can be up-ed ! same with complexity.

U seem to say to much when u dont, really have to if u know what I mean..

I liked this bar,..
Be any crime parts in fine arts so when my nine sparks
Violence stir and then silence occur my pistol grips has divine marks
^^dope^^

need to step your game up with your topicals but I'm sure u will get there
shortly, keep writing and stay active is the only advice I will give you & read
other Open mics and topical battles.