Basically, I'ma keep it straight with you..:

I didn't read it. I read the end of the lines, and I see that the rhymes are simple.

*Going Back To Read Now*

Basically, the structure is wrong. A average rap verse is about 16lines...they count em in bars...which will be 8 bars...some people spit 12lines/6bars...like Young Jeezy, that's because his voice is right for that...some spit 14lines/7bars...like Rick Ross, because his voice is matched well...I don't know how your voice is, but ur first verse you did 14lines/7bars...whatever...but tha second verse you did 10lines/5bars...you should never switch up the bar count...Now, as I read it, it would prolly be an okay R&B song, but rap? I dont think so. They lines are wayy to simple and nothing in their that's nice that's makes a jaw dropper..basically, the shit was predictable...

Stay on this site tho...you gon' get disses so much you gon get better..real talk...

stay up!

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