your scheme was very elementry.. baic end stop rhyming! try to elevate this and i think you could come up with something decent, but this i didnt like at all, the flow killed it!!!

example of end stop rhyming

damn my mind is just so undeveloped/
i wish i had a nine for all this rage thats swelled up/

oops, thats not it^

here my bad...

i write rhymes to show my skill/
but i cant cause my pen isnt filled/

and try to loose the bars, kills the flow also!

PEACE!!!