yo this wasn't that bad....i liked it.... that i'm too paraniod cause i gotta make you feel what i write thing work'n....

shit was gud bro....two things.... stop doubt'n ya self// say'n shit ain't that gud, that you know it sux....

that jus like tryna search for pitty or whatever....not happen'n....

and also....seems like you were tryna make the bars rhyme.... even though a poem doesn't have to rhym... when you tryna make it rhyme.... don't stretch out the whole line and make it uneven with the previous one....that bout it...

don't listen to me though....what do i know... check my poems out... you'll see for ya self why you shouldn't