Okay, to me this was a classic love poem...had the depth and imagery a very nice, and classic love poem should have....flowed effortlessly...really nice...damn, cannae say no more...enough said methinks on that...

....the last line? Well i thought it was okay...so maybe it seems a bit blunting to the rest of the piece...i.e. what came before...

...and i can see the 'swallowing' reference can be taken more than one way...especially when talking about a man and woman and incorporating love into things (love-sex..you get it)...

...but really, aint my place to to 'edit' someone elses piece, especially when it's so good...and it has so much substance to it...

...but maybe other people could...i just don't like tampering with something like this, especially as it's someone elses...

..i reccomend you come back to it in a day or two...looking at it 'fresh' almost....and then try and think of a different ending...i dunno, always helps me...when i aint happy with a piece....just keep coming back to it...

..anyway...respect...